Get Fluent Get Friendly-How English Elevates Your Social Life Ep 673

A photo of 3 friends meeting. Unlock Social Skills: This lesson not only sharpens your English but also teaches you how to make friends as an adult.

📝 Author: Hilary

📅 Published:

💬 3979 words ▪️ ⏳ Reading Time 20 min

📥 Download MP3 & PDF 11.0 Mb ▪️ 👓 Read Transcript ▪️ 🎧 Listen to Lesson


What You Need to Know About Making Friends in the UK and Speaking Fluent English!

Hey, You! Yes, You. Don't Scroll Past This! 🚀Ready to work on your English listening comprehension skills and the elusive art of making friends? 🎉 Your search ends NOW! Jump into today's eye-opening lesson that will change the way you make friends and boost your English language skills!

🔥 WHY YOU CAN'T MISS THIS LESSON! 🔥

  • 📚 Learn Authentic British English and sound like a native.
  • 🤝 Master the Magic Ingredients of making friends. No fairy dust needed.
  • 🇬🇧 Get Insider Tips on making friends in the UK. North or South, we've got you covered.
  • 🎯 Smash language barriers and Connect Instantly, even when it’s not ‘as easy as pie’.
  • 🗝 Unlock your Social Potential with actionable steps that are easy to follow.

✔Lesson transcript: https://adeptenglish.com/lessons/english-listening-practice-making-friends-as-adult/

Don’t get stuck in the ‘acquaintance zone.’ Be the life of the party. Be the confident YOU! 👇 Tap into this life-transforming lesson and say HELLO to your better self! Embrace Community: Uncover how clubs, housemates, and even co-workers can be your next friends.

You can make more friends in two months by becoming interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get other people interested in you.
⭐ Dale Carnegie

Have you ever feel like you're on a deserted island in a crowded room? Cut through the loneliness and level up not just your English, but your life too! This isn't your ordinary English lesson.

We examine, in detail, the art and science of making friends as adults. Remember when friendship happened in a heartbeat as kids? Find out why it's tougher now and how to fix it.

Let us be grateful to the people who make us happy; they are the charming gardeners who make our souls blossom.
⭐ Marcel Proust

Visit Adept English NOW and let’s kickstart this journey together. 🚀 Sayonara, loneliness! Hello, world! 🌍 Don't wait. Your future self will thank you. ✨ Level Up: Access a bonus tip to fast-track friendships in the UK.

So if you are finding it hard to initiate that first 'hello'? Say goodbye to awkward moments and amp up your social skills with today’s lesson! #SocialSkillsBoost #MasteringFriendship

More About This Lesson

Welcome to another great Adept English lesson that could transform your life! I'm Hilary, your guide on this amazing journey. Are you lonely? Do you find making friends as an adult tough? Here, you'll boost not just your English but your social life as well. We dive deep into how to make friends in the UK, and even throw in a special tip just for you!

Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another, 'What! You too? I thought I was the only one.'
⭐ C.S. Lewis

This British English listening lesson offers a unique learning opportunity, aiding English fluency while also delivering life skills:

  1. Introduction of Real-Life Topic: Discussing the challenges of making friends as an adult adds value by linking language learning to real-world issues.
  2. Lesson Structure: The lesson is well-organized, introducing the topic and then delving into different aspects of it.
  3. Vocabulary Building: Words like "proximity," "isolation," and "demographic" are introduced and explained, aiding vocabulary expansion.
  4. Pronunciation Tips: Mention of the Consonant Pronunciation Course helps learners focus on a key aspect of fluency.
  5. Cultural Insights: The lesson offers tips specific to making friends in the UK, enriching the learner's cultural knowledge.
  6. Engagement Questions: The lesson asks listeners questions, encouraging active listening and self-reflection.
  7. Various Examples: Different scenarios are discussed, ranging from school friends to workplace relationships.
  8. Real-World Tips: Provides practical advice on making and maintaining friendships, which can be applied in real life.
  9. Psychological Perspectives: Discusses different personality types and how they may affect friendship making.
  10. Actionable Advice: Gives listeners a nudge to "make the invitation," which is actionable advice for improving social skills.
  11. Listener Interaction: The host asks for listener experiences, creating a two-way communication channel.
  12. Final UK-Specific Tip: Provides a culturally specific tip on making friends in the north vs. south of the UK.

Benefits of our listen & learn approach to learning

  • Dual Benefits: This isn't just another language lesson. Alongside English, you'll learn how to navigate social interactions. Imagine unlocking English words and friendships at the same time!
  • Real-world Connections: We cover not just language but also culture and human behavior. So you learn English in the context that it's used!
  • Listen and Learn: Don't just hear, understand! The audio format helps you grasp the way native speakers talk, which is half the battle in mastering a language.
In the end, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends.
⭐ Martin Luther King Jr.

Key Points:

  1. Tackle Loneliness: You're not alone. Many people feel lonely, especially when they move to a new place.
  2. Improve Social Skills: Being social is like learning a new language; it takes practice.
  3. Pronunciation Matters: Want to sound like a Brit? We have a special pronunciation course.
  4. Fit In Locally: Understand the small but important cultural differences within the UK to make friends faster.
  5. Time Management: Friendships, like anything important, need time and effort.

Unlock Social Skills: This lesson not only sharpens your English but also teaches you how to make friends as an adult. Become a social pro!

  • Break the Ice: Learn how to start conversations with people in the UK.
  • Get the Context: Understanding the "why" behind language is as important as learning the words.
  • Expand Your Circle: Learn how to take advantage of repeated meetings with the same people to turn acquaintances into friends.

Ready for more friends and better English? Don't miss out on this one-of-a-kind lesson! Subscribe to Adept English now!

Questions You Might Have...

Finding it hard to initiate that first 'hello'? Say goodbye to awkward moments and amp up your social skills with today’s lesson! #MasteringFriendship

  1. What is the main focus of this Adept English podcast lesson? The main focus of this podcast lesson is twofold: to help you improve your English language skills and to guide you in mastering the social skills needed for making friends as an adult. Plus, there's a special tip about making friends in the UK. If you're aiming to speak English fluently while embracing British culture, this lesson is a perfect start.
  2. Is there a course mentioned to perfect British English pronunciation? Yes, the podcast talks about Adept English's Consonant Pronunciation Course. This course aims to fine-tune your pronunciation to sound "authentically British." If you're looking to immerse yourself fully in British English, mastering pronunciation is essential.
  3. Why does the podcast focus on the challenges of making friends as an adult? The podcast addresses this topic because making friends can be easy for children but harder as we grow older. Factors like relocation for work, cultural background, and lifestyle contribute to the complexity. Understanding these challenges can not only improve your English comprehension but also guide you in navigating British social norms.
  4. What is the podcast's advice on making friendships intentionally? The podcast emphasizes the need to create opportunities for repeated exposure to the same group of people. Whether it's joining a club or being part of a community, intentional actions can foster friendships. So, if you're new to the UK and looking to practice your English while making friends, actively engage in community groups that interest you.
  5. Is there a cultural tip on making friends in the UK? Yes, the podcast shares that people in the north of the UK tend to be more open and friendly at first meetings compared to those in the south. This is a valuable tip if you're looking to blend in and make friends more efficiently while living in the UK. Understanding these regional nuances can also enhance your grasp of British English and culture.

Most Unusual Words:

  • Keen: Eager or enthusiastic.
  • Authentically: In a genuine or true manner.
  • Disperse: To scatter or spread out.
  • Proximity: Closeness in space or time.
  • Isolation: Being alone, separated from others.
  • Demographic: A group of people sharing similar characteristics like age or lifestyle.
  • Histrionic: Overly dramatic or emotional.
  • Acquaintance: Someone you know but are not close friends with.
  • Saturation: Filled to the maximum extent, usually applied to how many friends one can handle.
  • Reserved: Quiet and holding back from showing emotions or thoughts.

Most Frequently Used Words:

WordCount
People22
Friends20
Making11
Other10
English9
About9
Friends8
Really8

Listen To The Audio Lesson Now

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Transcript: Get Fluent Get Friendly-How English Elevates Your Social Life

On making friendships

Hi there. Do you ever feel lonely? Don't miss this lesson where we look at the art of making friends as an adult. Ever wondered why children can make friends in five minutes? But it gets harder as we grow up. An important lesson which not only helps you polish your English language, but also guides on mastering the social skills that you need to make new friends. And stay with me until the end for a tip on making friends in the UK.

Hello, I’m Hilary, and you’re listening to Adept English. We will help you to speak English fluently. All you have to do is listen. So start listening now and find out how it works.

The Adept English Consonant Pronunciation Course

Don't forget if your spoken English is progressing well and you're keen to perfect your pronunciation, there is our Consonant Pronunciation Course at adeptenglish.com. It's your passport to sounding 'authentically British'. There are lots of words in English which are difficult to pronounce and which go against normal standard pronunciation. I've done podcasts in the past about the origins of the English language and how it comes from so many other languages. It's not consistent! Listen to podcast 617 if you want more on this. But if you don't want to be caught out on your pronunciation, this course is a thorough and complete course on the mysteries of English consonant pronunciation. Check it out at adeptenglish.com and our Courses page.

Boost Your Learning With Adept English

Making new friends as an adult is often harder than as a child

Isn't it lovely how children can sometimes make friends with one another really easily? Even if they don't share a common language. But making friends as an adult? It's a different matter. For some people, it's 'as easy as pie'. For others, it can be very challenging. Why the difference?

Well, it could be lifestyle. It could be opportunity. Or maybe you're just not sure how to initiate that first hello. So today, let's talk about how to make friends as an adult. Does it happen automatically for you or do you find it challenging?

Some of us already have enough friends. Some of us struggle to make friendships and wish we had more friends. What are the magic ingredients?

I don't need a friend who changes when I change and who nods when I nod; my shadow does that much better.
⭐ Plutarch

Sometimes people stay put and grow a big friendship group that way

I notice within the UK, if you come from a strong cultural background, that perhaps means that you've stayed in your hometown, close to family and friends where, you grew up or you live in a community which, say, is united by religion, or ethnicity, or possibly a large family, then you tend to have enough people in your life. You don't lack friends.

By contrast, moving to the 'big city'?

But what if you've moved to a big city for work? As part of western culture, we often move far away from where we grew up, far away from our family and friends. We may have left home to go to university and made friends there. But when uni ends, friends often disperse geographically. They go and live in different places.

My elder daughter was really lucky with that. When she finished uni, most of her friends moved up to London. So her large friendship group is composed of these people, plus work friends she's made along the way, and people who live in the same building. Many of the people living in her block of flats are young urban professionals of the same age. So they've got to know each other because of proximity. ' Proximity', P R O X I M I T Y - that just means 'occupying the same space'. You see each other every day. That's 'proximity'.

But for many people, especially those who've moved location for their work, this kind of move can mean isolation. I S O L A T I O N - means 'being alone' and 'too much alone'. ' Isolation' can have a really big impact on your mental health. We saw this during the lockdowns. There may be still many friends you're in contact with, but they just don't live near to you. So you can't see them regularly. And life can be dull without friends to do things regularly with.

But for young professional people, being 'mobile', willing to move for their work is essential. But it comes with these problems and these problems often go unacknowledged.

📷

A photograph of lonely woman, and happy friends hugging. UK Friendships: Stay till the end for a special tip about making friends in the UK.

©️ Adept English 2023


Ingredients of friendship-making?

So what are the ingredients for being good at making friends? Some of you will find this obvious, others less so. I think that sometimes making friends has to be intentional. You must make opportunity for it to happen. And if you let work dominate your life, you won't have time for friendships.

So the biggest challenge is when you move somewhere new. If you move with a partner or family, that's quite a bit easier. There is at least one other person. And if you have children, then there's opportunity to make friends with the parents of your children at school. This doesn't necessarily mean you have a lot in common. But it can work. When we say in English people 'have a lot in common', we usually mean they have shared interests, are similar people or have shared values.

Know 'your people'

I think it's good to recognise who are 'your people', the type that you like and that you'll get along with. I think as we get older, we get more of a sense of this. But we also may become more choosy too. And it's not to say that your friendships have to be with all the same types of people. As long as you've got something in common, as long as you have common ground, a bit like a Venn diagram, there can be enough to make a friendship!

Each friend represents a world in us, a world possibly not born until they arrive, and it is only by this meeting that a new world is born.
⭐ Anaïs Nin

Create opportunity to get to know people

People who move location for their work every few years can develop really good mechanisms for making new friends. You have to create opportunity, though. It's not as easy as when you were young and in education. At school, at university, you are thrown together with lots of other people the same age. And then you see them every day and spend lots of time together. You're probably forced to sit next to the same people every day. You can't help but get to know them. And a subset, that's S U B S E T, and a 'subset' of those people will become your friends. A 'subset' means 'a number of them'. Not all of them, of course!

Meet new people repeatedly

What we often lack as adults is repeated exposure to the same people, so that we can get to know them gradually and naturally. And possibly decide to deepen the relationship if we like them. So what's key to new friendships is making sure you've opportunity to do this 'repeated exposure' to people. If it's not naturally in your life, you must create it.

Follow an interest

The best way to do this is to follow an interest, something you like doing and which brings you in contact with a group, one which meets regularly and the same faces every week. Ideally too, the group have a similar demographic. That's D E M O G R A P H I C. ' Demographic' means 'similar age, similar lifestyle'. More likely to have things in common then.

It could be a gym or a running club. Could be a theatre or an art group if that's your thing. You find people online perhaps, that want to visit the same things that you do. Or a book club or a chess club. Or a tennis club where you might find a partner. It could even be your English language conversation group, your housemates or your neighbours.

One of the things which I found, I'm friends with other psychotherapists. There are automatically common interests and many fascinating conversations to be had too. That's an easy one for me. But I also don't want to just be friends with psychotherapists. It's good to have lots of other people too.

Notice when people are at 'friendship saturation'

Have you ever noticed how some of your co-workers aren't interested in making friends? They may already have a 'full social calendar'. You can't assume this, but sometimes people have enough friends already and they just don't have the capacity to make any more. When people are good at friendships, it usually means they're good at maintaining those friendships too. They put effort in. They're in contact with people regularly. They arrange to meet up, to keep the friendship alive. All of this takes time and effort, and we collect friendships as we go through life from different places. So if you prioritise your friendships, you tend to keep them. But this is time and effort, and perhaps you can only maintain a certain number of friendships. Good to recognise that some people have reached 'friendship saturation', and aren't really interested in making new friends.

Have you ever made a friend suddenly in a crisis? Sometimes dramatic events can bring us really close, really quickly to other people.

Personal attributes which help when making friends

And personal attributes too. Your character - that matters. It can determine how well you do making friendships. You have to be approachable, friendly-looking. Humour is useful. That's a good way to engage with people - make people laugh.

A particular personality I notice in my work, make friends really easily. That's the histrionic personality. H I S T R I O N I C. These people automatically engage with others. They share a lot about themselves. Everyone knows their business, all about them. Of course, this can go too far, but they do give other people a lot to engage with and therefore they make themselves memorable to other people.

The opposite, one of the things that socially anxious people find difficult and awkward is talking about themselves. You have 'to put yourself out there', be prepared to talk about yourself.

Evolution of UK Dads 👶🏻 Boost Your English Now!

Be prepared to 'make the first invitation'

Another thing which is crucially important? Being prepared to 'make the invitation' when you judge that the time is right. Friendships often need that nudge to move from the 'acquaintance zone' to the 'friendship zone'. When you've got to know someone a little and you think you might like them, the 'Do you fancy going for a coffee?'. Or 'Why don't you come round to my house and I'll help you with X or Y?' You extend the relationship, so that you're not just meeting in the original context, because you're 'thrown together'. You're now 'choosing to meet'. You're meeting by choice. Have you got the confidence to make that first move?

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Are Northerners in the UK friendlier than Southerners?

And by the way, here's a quick tip on making friends in the UK. On the whole, northerners tend to be more open and quicker to make friends, whereas 'folks down south' - they take a bit longer to warm up. Just a quirky UK fact for you. People in the north of the UK engage more quickly and are more open and friendly at the first meeting. You might get chatting in the sauna or on a train and make a connection. In the south of the UK, by contrast, I think that people can be a little bit more reserved. It just takes longer to be open. You have to meet a person more times before this happens. They're still friendly, but just takes longer. Just a tip in case you move here.

Goodbye

Do you resonate with what I've talked about today? Or is your experience different? Do you have enough friendships? Or even too many, perhaps? Or have you just moved somewhere new and you're looking to make new friends? As ever, it's great to hear from you and about your experiences. Enough for now. Have a lovely day. Speak to you again soon. Goodbye.

Thank you so much for listening. Please help me tell others about this podcast by reviewing or rating it. And, please share it on social media. You can find more listening lessons and a free English course at adeptenglish.com

Founder

Hilary

@adeptenglish.com

The voice of Adeptenglish, loves English and wants to help people who want to speak English fluently.
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