Overcome Your Anxiety And Develop Confidence With English Conversations
Tips to overcome nervousness in English conversations. An often overlooked but major learning obstacle is the feeling of being anxious when learning to engage and speak in a new language. Today we discuss this common problem and offer ways to overcome it.
People often say they get stressed during the transition from listening to a new language to speaking a new language. Usually, that stress comes from feeling anxious.
We talk about anxiety in several of our English language podcasts. This is something nearly all new language learners need to overcome in their language learning journey.
The good news is I have a lot of experience helping people who struggle with anxiety. So today Iâve got some solid advice at the end of the podcast that will help anyone who is suffering from anxiety, not just language learners.
English conversations are a huge part of the English language and there is no better way to learn them than by listening to native English speakers. Listen in and get used to the speed and cadence of native English speech patterns. You will improve your comprehension, your pronunciation, expand your vocabulary and learn great phrases you can use too.
Most Unusual Words:
Psychological
Suffering
Mental
Mental
Anxious
Insight
Defences
Compulsive
Excessive
Obsessive
Most common 2 word phrases:
| Phrase | Count |
|---|---|
| Seem To | 2 |
| Level Of | 2 |
| That People | 2 |
| The Situation | 2 |
| The Pandemic | 2 |
| I Know | 2 |
| People Who | 2 |
| A Problem | 2 |
| Very Anxious | 2 |
| Mental Health | 2 |
| Mental Distress | 2 |
Listen To The Audio Lesson Now
The mp3 audio and pdf transcript for this lesson is now part of the Adept English back catalogue . You can still download and listen to this lesson as part of one of our podcast bundles.Transcript: Anxiety In Language Learning And Tips To Overcome It
Do you know anyone who has a problem with anxiety? Thatâs ANXIETY. Or maybe you are very anxious? Letâs do a podcast today which is largely for interest, but which still helps you with English language learning. Youâll learn new vocabulary perhaps and Iâll spell out any more difficult or unusual words for you and Iâll try and give some interesting insights. An âinsightâ, INSIGHT is a piece of information which makes you think, which causes you to have better understanding.
Hello, Iâm Hilary, and youâre listening to Adept English. We will help you to speak English fluently. All you have to do is listen. So start listening now and find out how it works.
So letâs talk today about anxiety and mental health - and what happens for some people with anxiety. And a little bit about how you might help yourself if you have excessive anxiety.
Thereâs a âmental health crisisâ in the UK
One of the things that is very noticeable in the UK at the moment is the level of distress that people seem to feel. âDistressâ, DISTRESS means âsuffering, unpleasant feelingsâ - and in this context, I mean in a âpsychologicalâ way. Psychological means âin the mindâ, rather than âphysicalâ or âin the bodyâ.
As a psychotherapist, this is very evident in the number of enquiries I have at the moment - the number of people wanting to have therapy is more than itâs ever been before. And this isnât just for me, it isnât just my enquiries. All the professionals I know who provide therapy seem to be incredibly busy.
In the UK, the NHS also tries to help people with mental health problems. But the NHS doesnât have enough funding. It doesnât have enough money to do this properly. People who are really quite unwell can be turned down, rejected from NHS services because they are ânot ill enoughâ.
And the NHS tends to use pharmaceutical medication - drugs like anti-depressants - to treat mental distress. Increasingly, this isnât the treatment, this isnât the solution that people want and anti-depressants sometimes cause more problems than they solve. Often there are better alternatives.
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Anxiety is a big part of the âmental health crisisâ
So thereâs more distress around at the moment than usual. Mental âdistressâ may mean that you are anxious, ANXIOUS - which would mean that youâre worried, fearful, stressed, frightened much of the time. Or it might mean that your mood is low - you feel unhappy, or âdepressedâ, as we say.
Of course, the pandemic has played a part in some of this feeling of distress for many people. I know a number of people, who were made very anxious by the pandemic. If youâre anxious, that means that you worry, you have a lot of anxiety - thatâs the noun - ANXIETY. And often, people have more anxiety than feels appropriate for the situation. Clearly, there is a healthy level of anxiety to have - one thatâs related to the situation youâre in. And fear is an emotion which is understandable if you are in a war zone at the moment.
In fact, âterrorâ and âdreadâ would be better words for that kind of fear. But when Iâm talking about anxiety as a problem here, itâs when the anxiety doesnât relate to any immediate threat - or the anxiety is much bigger than whatâs appropriate for the situation. Weâd talk for example about someone âbeing anxious getting the train to Londonâ. Well, most people wouldnât find getting the train to London to be something which provokes anxiety.
So we use this adjective âanxiousâ often to indicate someone has âtoo much anxietyâ, more than the situation might warrant. Lots more people seem to have a problem with anxiety, since the pandemic. Theyâre still anxious, they still stay at home a lot, even though in the UK, we tend to think of the pandemic as being largely over - and something we just have to âlive withâ.
Anxiety is normal, excessive anxiety isnât
More generally, anxiety becomes a problem when thereâs just âtoo muchâ of it, itâs excessive, EXCESSIVE. Too much. There is more worry, more fear and anxiety than is justified, than âmakes senseâ for the situation. So people may be overly anxious about travelling or may be anxious about eating in a restaurant or anxious even just leaving their house.
Others may be anxious about their health or about what other people think of them. These are all natural anxieties to have to some degree perhaps - but the problem is the extent, the size of the anxiety. For many people, their anxiety goes beyond a normal level, beyond the understandable level and becomes a much bigger problem. Anxiety can also become a problem when itâs âabout the wrong thingâ.
Sometimes people have a much a deeper anxiety, related either to bad things that have happened in their past that arenât resolved, arenât processed - or perhaps to some situation in the present. But there may be all sorts of psychological rules or blocks in the mind which stop the person from acknowledging this, from seeing this - these causes of their anxiety. The person doesnât recognise them or canât take ownership of these anxieties.
Now we all have âpsychological defencesâ - thatâs DEFENCES - theyâre needed for all of us. But for some people, their defences are like high, prison walls. With these defences in place, but with the big anxiety still sitting underneath, that person may start to worry about things which to most people would seem unimportant. These worries about things which most people would consider unimportant can start to get âout of handâ, out of proportion. These relatively unimportant âsurface-levelâ worries, start to become massively important, massively worrying. So certain activities or situations cause âover the topâ anxiety thatâs - thatâs clearly not right.
The person may also develop over the top repetitive behaviours which are also clearly not right. At this extreme end, this is what we would call OCD - or Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. The word âobsessiveâ, OBSESSIVE is an adjective - and that describes peopleâs thoughts. Something is âobsessiveâ if we âcanât stop thinking about itâ. And âcompulsiveâ, COMPULSIVE - well thatâs when your actions are driven by your thoughts - and it feels like youâve no choice but to do it. So youâre likely to behave a particular way because of the thoughts.
What does OCD level anxiety look like?
A person with OCD may become anxious about things which other people wouldnât see as important. They may become anxious about checking that the doors are locked, checking the electrical switches in their house, organising their cupboards. Or it could be about cleaning or about germs or bacteria.
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A photo of a person with obsessive compulsions. Learn to become an effective English speaker by overcoming your anxiety and finding confidence in conversing with native speakers.
In these cases, the anxiety has lost its logical connection with the real world. But this type of anxiety is very compelling, very intense for the person. It âownsâ them, it directs everything. But despite how it seems and feels, this anxiety isnât really about the obsession. Itâs about whatever loss, trauma or distress sits underneath, unprocessed, undealt with. But the person with the OCD may not be aware of this and may not be able to make the connection - and often they will resist making that connection. So sometimes people will have the same obsessive thoughts and compulsive behaviours for years and years.
Itâs interesting - sometimes OCD seems to be triggered by a virus - there seems sometimes to be a physical or even a genetic part to it. But we usually find that there is a psychological element to it underneath - and itâll not be cured until thatâs found. The OCD behaviour is a kind of âdefenceâ, if you like, but not one anyone ever consciously chooses.
The word âdefenceâ, DEFENCE means âa way of protecting yourselfâ. Psychologically, we all have âdefencesâ - and just as a football team needs its defenders, we all have defences, because theyâre necessary, theyâre needed. Itâs just that sometimes our psychological defences take on a form that itself becomes a problem.
How to help yourself with anxiety - 3 steps you can take
So OCD is an extreme - if you have anxiety at that level, then itâs good to get professional help. But if you have anxiety which is just a little more than most people, a little more than what other people might experience - you can probably do quite a lot to help yourself. Here are three things to work on, if youâre anxious.
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Reality test what you are worried about. That means check out your worries with other people. Often other people can give you a different perspective, a different viewpoint - and you may realise that your viewpoint is just one way of seeing things, amongst many. If you have a partner or close family member, especially one who doesnât have a problem with anxiety - talk to them! What do they think? Whatâs it like then theyâre in the situation that makes you anxious? How do they deal with it? What are their internal thoughts and how do they differ from yours?
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Watch the amount of time that you spending thinking negative thoughts. Often people who are given to anxiety spend a lot of time thinking about all the bad things which are going to go wrong. They use their imagination to picture all the bad things that can happen in the future. Of course, this leads to more and more and more anxiety. So learn to catch yourself doing this - and learn how to stop it. There are ways. If you think of yourself telling these stories to a small child and doing it the way that you talk to yourself, talking about all the negative possibilities, that are going to happen, all day long - well, youâd see that as cruel, wouldnât you, saying it to a child? And you wouldnât be surprised when that child became anxious. Itâs no different if youâre using that voice on yourself. Try to stop doing it!
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Stop avoiding the things that youâre scared of. If youâre anxious and there are things that you find difficult, if you manage by avoiding them, then the problem can grow bigger. Facing what makes you anxious - and conquering it - that means âbeating itâ - is the best way. Feel the Fear and Do it Anyway! Sometimes itâs good to think of a set of steps which can lead all the way up to conquering your anxiety. Think about what each step might look like - and what actions you might take to conquer your particular anxiety in stages. And donât forget to be pleased with yourself, when you have some success and you make some progress.
There are plenty more things you can do to start conquering your anxiety. But these three that Iâve mentioned are very important.
Download The Podcast Audio & Transcript
Let me know whether thatâs helpful to you. And if you are just not an anxious person, I hope that at least this podcast gives you a little insight into why anxiety is difficult for some people.
Goodbye
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Enough for now. Have a lovely day. Speak to you again soon. Goodbye.
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